After just a few days of waiting, here you guys go!
Special thanks to @CIEIRMusic for the, well, music! Check out his other stuff, too! Like these:
Sorry guys, it ain't The Absolute yet, but I hope it suffices!
TWO [Slowly Depleting] SLOTS FOR [[Big Shot]] APPLICATIONS ARE STILL [Causing Global Warming]!
[Eliminate] YOUR TWO [Funeral Caskets] BEFORE IT'S ALL [Gone to hell]!!